Hi ADHDers,
Happy ADHD Awareness Month and Black History Month UK.
Alright, I know I am 8 days late. I had a month’s worth of writer’s block, but I’m back!
My two highlights of the month were:
Speaking on The Neurodiversity Panel at MCM ComicCon – clips on TikTok!
My first-ever stall selling the ADHD Flashcards at the ADHD Babes 3-year anniversary event!
The theme for this year’s ADHD Awareness Month was ‘Moving Forward’.
In the spirit of ‘moving forward’ let’s talk about avoidance!
AVOIDANCE
I’m pretty sure many of you reading this right now are avoiding something or someone.
Am I right?
It could be an uncomfortable situation, an email you’re not ready to send, a person, you name it!
Some of us:
🧠 Procrastinate
🧠 Are anxious or too overwhelmed to get started
🧠 Get caught up in analysis paralysis
🧠 Find things to distract ourselves with
🧠 Have avoidant personality types
🧠 Struggle with demand avoidance
BUT, what we may refer to as procrastination could be avoidance.
“Procrastination involves avoiding specific tasks; while avoidance tends to be a more general pattern that develops and can cause recurring issues both at work and at home. Most people can relate to occasional bouts of both procrastination and avoidance.” – NIH
Another way I look at it is, that procrastination is putting off a task intending to eventually do it, whereas avoidance is actively evading something due to negative emotions e.g. fear or anxiety.
Does this make sense to you?
Why does the distinction matter?
“Excessive avoidance in the absence of real threat can severely impair individuals’ quality of life…” – Krypotos, Effting, Kindt, Beckers.
For example:
Strained friendships and relationships
Difficulties in daily functioning
Negative effects on your mental health
Hinder opportunities
Look, I’m no expert in the area of avoidance. I recently took an interest because my CBT therapist told me I displayed some avoidant behaviours, this was NEWS to me!
So I went down the rabbit hole and did some research on avoidance. I realised that a bunch of us ADHDers may think that we’re just struggling with procrastination but the culprit could be avoidant behaviours.
Especially if you have ADHD and struggle with anxiety which tend to co-occur.
The reason why coping strategies or advice for procrastination might not work in certain situations might be…. you guessed it, it’s AVOIDANCE.
Putting a plaster on a big hole in the wall won’t fix it.
This is me, what do I do?
In my case, my therapist pointed out that I displayed some avoidant behaviours – which I was able to work through.
1. Understand avoidance – research
Some of you reading this may struggle with avoidance across the board or avoidance in certain areas. e.g. Demand avoidance (linked to Autism), Avoidant personality type, Conflict avoidance, Avoidant behaviours, etc.
2. Get to the root cause of your avoidance.
Is this something that exists alongside Anxiety, OCD, Trauma, etc? If so, working with a therapist or a counsellor could be helpful.
I don’t have specific strategies at this stage because there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Drop any tips you have in the comments!
📢 ANNOUNCEMENTS
🎟️ Neurodivergent Leaders event – Come join us!
I’m speaking at the ND Leaders panel event on Thursday 23rd November at 6PM in London. If you want to connect/socialise with other Neurodivergent folk, tickets are still available here. Includes drinks and food!
🧠 ADHD TRAITS FLASHCARDS GIVEAWAY
As promised! I am doing a giveaway of the ADHD Traits Flashcards to celebrate 10k subscribers! Here is the link to the entrance form.
Winners will be contacted on Sunday 19th November!
That’s all from me,
Rach with ADHD!
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